The Gentleman's Choice
SWOA
The Annual Art Exhibition
Curated by my Dear Friend, Jordan Quinn
The following are chronological contributions by Amanda Jameson
Comfort Zone
​
Performed in Wellington 2019
...and Auckland 2020
​
So, here are my thoughts
About us awesome escorts
I gave it some time
To try and make it rhyme
If it sounds like I am a rockstar
That is because I am good at role-play
If it doesn’t?
That is because my hairbrush is AWOL.
Again.
I am well reviewed
For very good reason
I am all about thank you
Though I like to do the pleasin'
So how can we meet?
No longer on the street.
To market to market
I chose The Dominion
Now thank God for the net.
In my humble opinion
Ok that sucks.
Not a euphemism
Let’s try that again.
Brace yourself, ahem
A day in the life of a lady of the night ...
(dramatically inserts a sigh for effect)
Upon waking and checking emails,
Replying and confirming the details
I grab my keys, my bag, my phone
It’s off to work I go hey ho...
Trying to avoid traffic
Like the plague
I may stop on the way
And do something vague
"Fuck driving through this every day!"
I always sigh,
Time waits for no man
and neither do I.
Once at my apartment
I kick off my boots
Scan where to prep first
I glance with my eyes,
do a quick brain teaser of
'how long do I have'
Then I prioritise
Often it will be the kitchen bench
(well hello there, kitchen bench)
I may smile as I remember
fucking over it the night before,
but then it's straight to the bathroom
to sanitise surfaces and floor
I may look in the mirror, mirror, on the wall
Have a laugh to myself
"is that what I am working with today?!"
and do an overhaul
They say it’s what’s inside that counts
Just as well this is paramount
I spy with my little eye
the lying stitch in the wardrobe
I pick out a frock to fuck in
Which will wind up on the floor
Some of you might call it a 'floordrobe'
I ensure I have a dress
my client has address
If he is regular, I may say aloud
"Ooh yay! It's him!"
'Tis a comfort zone
Seeing our repeat custom
I agree to appease your ego
Easy come
easy rider
easy we go
I have to hide who I am
For your fantasy below
I’m back in a kilt
But left school young
Now a nurse,
sharp witted sharp tongued
A role-play today
My expert-tease
Prep and props
I deliver with ease
Let me sink into your kink
But I will not submit
I’m on the brink I think
Of your sub mission
Perhaps it’s a massage
You just need to be felt
My voice soothes your mind
My hands make you... melt
I have a shoulder you lean on
I’ve heard it all before
You love your wife dearly
But need... something more
Intimacy is lacking
Or she sent you packing,
You feel; strife...
Perhaps you are a virgin
And need to explore
You want top shelf
The name is Jameson
I am ready to pour
Maybe you travel
And don’t have time
To get involved with strings attached
And that’s fine
I show so much
Through the power of touch
I adapt to you
But I remain a secret
My beliefs
My theories
My depth
They remain kept.
In a vault under lock and key
Just for me
It’s not an act
Who you see,
Just a fact
Just adaptable me
I show you a dance move
Not the entire dance
I read you a page
But never the entire library
I sing you a verse
But not the entire song
It would take too long
you would never understand the lyrics
And you are just here for the hour.
Let’s play a game
Not the walk of shame
Play Wheel of Fortune
Naked Twister
If the Price is Right.
Yes, I hide who I am
And you do too
So, I don’t ask
In our field of two.
I can’t tell you my name
As I dance upon the stage
I can’t quite be honest
about my age
Is it really you in the photos?
My tattoos and piercings
are not there for you
Sure, I can be a scenic route
If you like the view.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I believe you just did
You want to know if I am married
Or if I have a kid
You ask if I am here for long
Maybe work is just a phase.
Baby I will be a MILF one day
As long as I am getting paid.
This is my life
It is who I am
Escorting is my passion
Not 'wham bam ... thank you mam'
It’s the details,
the admin
the stuff behind the scenes
Before you see me perfectly flawed
The sex symbol of your dreams
Allow me to pay homage
To the people involved
My beloved industry
And how it’s evolved
It’s my peers and my colleagues
Past and present
Hookers before bookers
The age of consent
Acutely aware of the paving they gave
So, we could be at ease
It’s the people who fought long and hard
One now a Dame,
*(salutes Dame Catherine Healey)*
We can let down our guard
It’s the client’s compliance
Who let us be free,
Not as in cost
But in quite simply,
Use of their manners
Not putting spanners
In our sex works
Allowing us to get on with a job we enjoy
Being self employed
Living on our terms
And not in a void
When am I free?
Never but I could avail
Can I take you to tea?
Never but I can refer you
You often ask me if I am single
Can we do it natural?
Do you think I am too small???
So, to Tom, Dick and Harry
Even though we know your name is John,
It is a pleasure doing business with you
Even long after you’re gone
And there is one thing
You ought to know
I disagree with you in silence
To appease your ego
Down the Rabbit Hole
Performed in Christchurch 2021
Y’all think you know me
She’s been around for a while
We know her style
She has several reviews
She’s paid her dues
She has a name synonymous
with being nearly famous
we mistook her
for being
“Just a hooker”
when that’s merely just her job
Should I agree
To see thee
It’s an invitation
to my reputation
Not a welcome mat to my life
Or for you to wipe your feet on
Hip hip hooray!
I'm working today
Clients will only see the happy me
the one who never has an off day
If I do
I take the day off
You may scoff
How privileged I am
An acute observation
But I designed my situation
It hasn’t always gone to plan
My peers know
I never say
a bad word
about anyone,
Perhaps I bad mouth myself,
sometimes in jest,
sometimes when stressed,
sometimes when second guessed
my own ability to keep calm and carry on
But I’m a confident confidante
A serial thriller
An expert at my game
I push my own tiller
Wild by nature
I won’t be tame
But on the game
There are bits and pieces you don’t get to see
And my awareness of this
Is the secret to my success
I roll my eyes to the skies
About those wise guys
Who may make think I am a bimbo
It’s like my personality is in limbo
You want the truth
but "you can’t handle the truth...!"
there are a Few Good Men;
Who don’t depend
On your personality matching
every part of them
Sometimes I think my caring manner
makes people think I am weak
or a push over
I’ve been saying “be kind”
since before it was trendy,
I don’t wish to offend thee,
But if someone needs reminding
of a boundary,
Then they may recognise a blinding
glint in my eye
they can’t deny,
there may very well be
more to me.
You see,
I get it,
don’t forget it,
I know what it is like
to be treated not too flash,
my memories are not metaphors
to serve as reminders when making cash.
I am a 3D me,
while looking at my face
you can’t see the strength in my back,
while looking at my back
you can’t see the determined smile on my lips.
You will never see all of who I am.
At the same time.
Where I have been,
or where I am headed.
What I have seen,
or who I have bedded.
They don’t see the scars
The mud, sweat and fears
They aren’t there when I hit my alarm clock
and bounce out of bed
Don’t see me wondering
“Is my child going to be ok?”
“Is my loved one going to have another
major heart attack while I am away?”
Don’t see me swallow my emotion,
When listening to tales
of your ails,
because you need me to hear,
to care and to share,
a shoulder, an ear, a touch on the arm
“I’m there”
It’s not always a slippery nipple
and a cocktail of touch,
being glamorous and fabulous
and replying to “how much?”
Every day it’s a circus
It’s intense
The clowns
the ringmaster
The balancing act
The house of mirrors
The acrobat
I go home some days after sex, why, zed
I glance in the mirror, as get ready for bed,
splash water on my face,
where did my youth go,
without a trace?
Then deeper into my soul
I spy with my little eye
the kind hearted wild child that lives on inside me
and never wants anyone to feel anything
but happy
and that is what got me
where I am today
I display this so readily –
the inner child who wants the world to be a better place -
put a smile on your face,
even if it’s a temporary distraction,
an extraction from your reality.
I’m there. It’s real.
Other escorts impression of me
may be unbiased,
or their regard may be the highest
but -
They don’t walk in my heels
(Unless they were gifted them from myself
to help embellish their own wardrobe)
I don’t walk in theirs either,
None of us come last,
We each prance our own path
I’ve been told I’m lucky so often,
I’m blessed I can attest
But it’s not luck,
I mean fuck,
I worked my arse off
when the rest of the world sleeps,
perhaps giving me shit
for being an early bird
how absurd
to get up when others are sleeping,
but I have goals
that won’t kick their own arse,
so I work when I can -
I’m good at goal keeping.
For Joe Bloggs
Here’s some advice
To kindly think twice
If you book a hooker
It’s naive to conceive
this notion set in motion
of silly stereotypes
their sillier fragile ego
hypes it up
to mean something else ;
Society a priority but
is it so hard,
To look in your own backyard?
“We can’t accept your application
Because of your vocation
Are you sure you are clean,
If you know what I mean -
You can’t stay here
Or over there
No you need a REAL job”
You mean one where I get paid?
Or don’t get laid?
Will we ever persuade
the record to be broken?
The judge and jury has spoken
Too bad they aren’t jokin’
But non jokin aside
We all need to survive
The many roles we play
Just being alive
I’m a worn out mother
A worn in lover
An avid, delighted and resilient fighter
I choose not to have quarrels
I don’t rest on my laurels –
I’m not even sure I know what a laurel is but I bet I don’t rest there - there is no rest for the wicked
I am drawn to those who are not perfect.
Who speak their true dialect.
Who wear their heart on their sleeve.
And look you in the eye
Their ego dwarfed by the authenticity of their life.
Their inner strength though tired shines through.
Your own knobbly knees show their scars too, and me?
I’m just your friend,
the one who has been bruised black and blue.
But choose to show you
the pink in everything
and dance across the
stage of life
with the effervescence
of pink champagne.
...as all good stories start with once upon,
behind the scenes
the dreams
the teams
The show in all its glory, it must go on.
So take off your prejudice
And throw on a grin
I’ve got the green light
in a red light district
The sweet wages of, sweet sin
BOBBING (for Apples)
Performed Wellington 2022
Won People's Choice Award
An innocent question
Can make us squirm
It’s asked of us all
But we need to discern
“What do you do?”
They ask right on cue
If only they knew
We see people like you?
A quick analysis of their personality
Can I trust this person’s duality
And my comfortability
Will they hold it against me
if I say what’s true
Will it backfire
If I’m not a liar
If I tell them the truth
You take the risk
and share the truth
instantly their reaction
Wants to make an excuse
To leave, to doubt, to pout
Their face cannot lie
You can’t deny
the reasons why
Some just don’t get it
You smile and wonder
was I wrong to trust?
They may look at you
to assure you “that’s fine”
Your assurance of me
is an insurance policy
I do not need
You know it’s fine
You feel it is
Or you wouldn’t share the info
With the likes of him
So, let’s break it down
The day to day to adventures
Of someone asking
“So, what do you do?”
Sit back
Pull up a pew
And if you are trusted
I’ll tell you the truth
First, I’ll tell you
what people assume
Their stigmatic reaction
Automatic faction
The truth while raw
Does loom
I may converse
Just for a laugh
And be perverse
Must be tough
When I see them reverse
They have their own take
On whom we are
Conditioned by religion
Movies and more…
We are money hungry whores
The unfortunate ones
Society forgot
Except
We are not
Things we hear day to day
Told who, how and why we are
To our tiring dismay
“I could never do that!”
You recoil back in disgust
Taken aback by what was discussed
Then don’t, you are an adult
Freedom of choice
It is not a must, we are not a cult
Secretly you want to know,
what it would be like,
within 5 minutes of meeting
to have front row seating;
You ask questions
With our answers so unique
But you don’t really hear US speak.
You are perplexed
At our ability complex
To go down on a perfect stranger
Assuming we are all in danger
You judge us fast
But we come last
And you empathise with the client
“You must see some weirdos?”
“What’s the worst thing that happened?”
“The strangest request you’ve had?”
But you don’t really want to know.
You see.
You want it all to be bad.
Society is scared
Of the people in the bed
They think it’s desperate of us
Then dare to separate us
For not following their yellow brick road
It takes courage, heart and brain
To listen to anyone mansplain
About how and why we are
We must be neglected
or mentally weak,
no life skills reflected,
evidently meek.
We must all be single -
Who’d put up with that?
We must all be a disappointment
to our families expected plan
Drug addled abusers
or maybe abused
No goals, no focus
This isn’t a life we would choose
Uneducated, immoral
The dregs of the earth
You mock our mothering abilities
“You can’t use YOUR body for birth?!”
Banks reject us,
the butt of your joke,
the dead ones in movies,
the ones all on coke.
The scandal of the headlines,
our CV looks bleak?
The irony is,
You make money when we speak
You want us out the way
What would the neighbours think?
Won’t someone think of the children?!
We are the weakest link.
Assumed we are man eaters
and never to be trusted,
I assure you we always throw ‘em back,
when they are ‘done and dusted’
I remember being spun this line
more than one time,
“The industry will make you hard”
Can’t help but laugh
if you knew me when I started
you’d know it’s only made me
Even more warm hearted
My theory is this:
If you detest my life?
It’s easy.
Don’t live it.
If you request of my strife,
but get queasy
I won’t give it
I can’t help but sigh at
the closed and locked minded
their ideals one sided,
their spiels misguided
who think I’m undecided,
on what to do;
naive to my life
as I’ve designed it
For me – and not for you.
Sex work is work.
But not for us all.
Neither is all work
going to be suitable.
I’m not an accountant or bulldozer driver
it’s not in my proximity.
But hey I’m a survivor,
an excellent escort
who cannot be bought
I make no apologies
just to help your sensitivities
The men we tend to
tend to have their own worries.
They may often be lost,
or bear their own sorrows and sorries.
I’m a sponge for their pains,
their shackles and their chains.
They’ve implored for
my shoulders to be broad.
My pay is not ill-gotten gains.
You want to know about a day in the life?
You want to hear the negative parts
which would then make you right?
If you need to succeed
in your assault on my choices,
you would be surprised to hear
my colleagues swift rebuttal
with all our unique voices.
But since you are here
Lend me your ear, the list is extensive
… and sometimes expensive (wink wink)
“A day in the life is lounging about;
Laid back on chaise lounge
eating grapes and waiting for clients
To ask, “how about now?”
It’s being dressed to the nines
and a little bit slutty…
It’s counting cash like Monopoly money
and moulding you like putty.
It’s leaning into cars,
(Stock standard stock photo)
Red lips and short skirts,
Are we in Kansas still Toto?”
Excuse the sarcastic reply
I’ve implied
Truth be told
We are not sold.
We provide a service
to those in the fold
It’s plenty of admin
and running a business
It’s certainly sad when
our integrity is dismissed as:
‘Just getting nude
When clients are in the mood’
‘Just waiting around
To be a merry-go-round’
Social media
Twit twit twoo
Photos and updates
Just for you
Marketing and
Personal upkeep
Prepping and cleaning
And oh! (Orgasmic sigh)
The cleaning gets deep…
Turning phone on silent
forgetting to turn it back up
ignoring blocked numbers
Saving shown ones as
A maybe, no way or yup!
Sussing out parking
for visits to hotel
checking in with safety person
to assure all is well
Hydrating, gyrating
rolling our neck,
gotta stay limber,
keep our health in check.
Massaging tired limbs
fluffing cushions
(among other things)
Refilling oils
Opening a new box of tissues
Tying up rubbish bags
And any other issues
Putting the sheet on the wrong way,
Muttering “every bloody time!”
Listening, nodding
Bobbing (for apples)
Twirling around, strutting our stuff,
making sure we look good in the buff
Taking notes from the nice man
who suggested
“Oh you should holiday here!
My wife and I loved it!”
He’s so invested.
Making the bed
Again, and again
Listening to clients tales
About the ‘rain in Spain’
Wondering if we will see him again
He didn’t look too well
I hope he’s not in pain.
Sorting through emails, phone calls and texts
Checking our schedule to see who is next
Rescheduling what’s his name
His father finally passed
Wondering how to word my condolences
Without wanting to sound half arsed
Oh my client is here,
I’ll text him later on
Smooth my skirt,
spritz of perfume on
And I’m ready, set, pop, bang go!
Into pole position
Sure there is often sex
But often it’s vanilla
And not what you expect
Not the sex Olympics
(To which I get gold… nice flex?) ðŸ¤
Ding,
Oh excuse me ! I just heard a text
Never mind it’s just a dick pic
Right let’s go, who’s next?
Mr So and So - excellent haven’t seen him for a while,
he hasn’t been to new apartment yet
Giving the newbie address with uniformed detail
Hoping if he is a touch late, he‘s not a time-wasting snail
The phone goes again
back to my diary, to book in enquiry
Making sure his requests are met with precision,
Check the mirror is what he envisioned
Ha, the mirror has a smear,
Get the cleaning stuff out quickly
Time is very near
Sussing out in 5 seconds
Do I feel safe?
Simultaneously
Welcoming him in the door
Assuring him HE is okay!
But enough about that…
Clients say
On any given day,
You look better in person
a line they are oft’ well versed in
an intent at a compliment
not something they all come first in
Often told, the photos don’t do us justice
Trust us -
We are much more than a perfectly framed shot
When a regular can recognise
There’s far more behind the guise
There is indeed a depth and soul
A driven woman
no matter how old
no matter her appearance
no matter her shape
the intellect behind the smile
cannot help but escape
He’s the one we think about
When we say we love our job.
Our favourites are the ones we smile about
When they share with us good news..
So, tell me quickly
I’m dying to know
What’s wrong with the life I choose?
I’ll wrap this up now,
well done for still reading
To my peers and my friends,
Keep on believing:
No matter the role you fall into
in the industry
you know too well
the stigma marches on
to its broken record
The never-ending song
It’s got us bored
Yet it’s easier for them, you see?
Stripper, model, content creator,
porn star, agency, phone operator,
indy, street worker, agency,
madam, receptionist, directory,
Why shouldn’t we be allowed to be proud?
My body, my choice
One voice, and we are loud.
www.swoa.co.nz for more information on this amazing event!