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Image by Alessio Soggetti

Are we there yet? It's Lockdown Baby!

I love how this time round I do not need to explain what a lockdown is. So much so, that I retired my work phone into the depths of my bottomless bedside table drawer and have ceased to look at it. If you have text me and think I am snob, you are only half right! Things are a lot different this time round. In that, we kind of knew to expect it. Like an earthquake we were foretold, it's not a matter of if, but when. Are you prepared? Yes I am always prepared. As fate would have it, I had been at the supermarket stocking up that very morning.

When we first waltzed into lockdown, 2020, I was (and remain aware of) the position I was in to feel blessed to have, what I referred to, as a government imposed holiday. This time I was not so excited as the novelty had worn off and let's be fair to ourselves, uncertainty can be a real mind boggling thing to navigate. Yet navigate we do.

My opinion of not being able to work comes down to the fact I feel a bit lost. When not working I sometimes don't know who I am! Then I went and got a case of what I call the dreaded flinks. It wasn't my fault. They came out of nowhere! Like all dreaded flinks do. There I would be, mulling about, minding my own business, motivated one second, and the next I'd be staring at a wall wondering what everyone else is doing. Are they happy? I would wonder. I hope they are happy. I would hope.

My ma always said 'only boring people get bored,' so I have made it my life's work never to be bored. Or she would present me with a puzzle of Bodium Castle, "you can do this with me if you like!" - ya I am DEFINITELY NOT BORED. I think I hear a tree calling.

But I had great plans! Non boring plans!

Part of these great non boring plans was to finish making my mystical meditation forest. Was a cracker day for it. I slid down a muddy bank which was funny. I had two garden gnomes in my hands and looked down the slope, glanced at the tree branch I’d usually brace myself with, and thought “she’ll be right” - rookie mistake; you know once you say that Murphy pops up and says “Nary she will lass!”

T'was one of those fabulous slow motion times in your life; when you click on what is happening half way in mid air, but nay, its too late, gravity works much faster when you have eaten all ze food. So I got up, looked at my muddy hands, exclaimed an obligatory "ugh!" checked on my garden gnomes, cracked up laughing and carried on. I did not 'keep calm and carry on' because one has to be calm to keep calm. Quite frankly after all my gardening and sweating like a pig (did you know pigs don't sweat?) Indeed, it wasn't a feeling of calm. But I digress. We still laugh about it, cause why? Why not?

But then I figured! That's okay!

Last year I had the farm to flap my wings, this year, while back in suburbia, I have been redecorating rooms, spring cleaning, writing, yoga, making meals!! (She cooks?!) ok, making burgers, and they are something else.

...but mind over matter, yes it can have its tedious moments, I will not complain. As to me, this is what being part of a functioning society is. By staying home, we are all heroes. Isn’t that a great thing to be a part of?

I messaged my friends who I chat with every day, ironically our daily chats started since the last lockdown, and said,

“This is not a complaint just an observation- man you go through all ze tings! Motivation, wondering, dislocation, tired, energy, fuck this fuck that, happy hahahaha plonk, wondering, musing, sleeping, looking in the cupboard “am I actually hungry?” Yeah nah who can tell... I wonder what they are doing? I bet it’s rad. Or maybe what I am doing “Fock knows!” Lol and then swing back to motivation la de da"

They agreed, it’s a real “merry go round” of sorts.

Then you see people on the telly having protests, and logic dictates to me, there is no logic in this. Lockdown has verified there really are a lot of ists.

The realists, the pessimists, the idealists... The optimists, so while reading about these ists, I randomly found a quiz. Hahaha yes I’m one of THOSE people and after years of being convinced I am an optimist ... I got this result!

You Are:

The Uber-Realist

Nothing ever surprises you, (this is true) mostly because you're three steps ahead of life, and that's where you intend to stay! (also true) No matter what happens, you've got a plan, and you've even got multiple contingency plans in case that first plan fails. (It's like looking in a mirror).

You have reasonable expectations, you set achievable objectives, and your determination to see a thing through to its conclusion leads to great success. (Thank you!) Your friends and family have all listed you as their emergency contact 'there's no cooler head than yours, after all! (I do have a cool head in an emergency)

So yep. I’ll continue to be an Uber realist, and hopefully the other ists can band together while being apart and get through this time in our lives. Bless. I'm sure we will all be back at work soon enough, so while spring cleaning came round earlier this year, and while I had no lambing season, (sniffle) I did find a YIKES LOAD of 'stuff', to which I put into donation boxes. It never fails to amaze me how much we humans accumulate 'stuff'

Anyhoo, the news has just been on about the level changes. THIS time upon being allowed outside / inside to play, under level 2, we have to wear a mask. Lots of people wear a mask when they come to see me, I chuckle to myself; they just don't realise I can see through it.

God bless you and yours

xo AJ



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